I was barely a teenager when my dad started hammering the importance of getting it right in marriage to me. Having had friends who missed it in their marriages and lived the rest of their lives unhappy, daddy didn't want that for his own children. Nothing sends a man to hell while still on earth like marrying the wrong woman, he would say.
Fast forward to over ten years later, I was now married to my university sweetheart. I knew I loved her to pieces and wanted to be with no one else but her. Even as a young pastor of a campus ministry with several ladies from different continents and backgrounds, nothing was enough to make me think otherwise.
After dating for 3 years, I proposed to her and we ended up getting married a few months later. I felt like my dreams had come through, I had the finest babe the world over. We were a power couple and people could hardly do without mentioning us as examples.
I treated her like the queen she is to me and she treated me like the king I am. It was all fun and rosy until things began to shake. It started as simple but frequent misunderstandings. Then these soon grew into more serious quarrels.
By the second year of our marriage, we are both feeling like we made the biggest mistakes of our lives getting married! We kept trying to patch and manage the situation but sometime in 2012, I couldn't take it anymore.
So on the last night of our Annual Summer Camp meeting that year, I called together a meeting of the Executive Council Members of our ministry and made the announcement none of them saw coming ... "My wife and I are going our separate ways because of irreconcilable differences," I said.
I could see and feel the disappointment in their faces that night. One of the pastors later told me that she had been hearing of pastors marriages breaking but never saw that happening with her pastor. The same pastor had once told me she prayed to get married to a man like me!
What happened to my wife and I? Why couldn't we make this marriage work? Weren't we in love in the first place? Didn't we hear from God before going on to get married? How did we get to this point? All these and more were the questions I tried to answer as I regretted championing a course that was heading for the rocks.
The next couple of weeks and months saw us going back to the drawing board. This time, we were not ready to learn marriage from any book or expert. We knew marriage is a good thing designed by God for a good purpose. So we went into what I now call a "Rediscovery Period" And trust me when I say, we learnt a whole lot from our own failed marriage.
We learnt how God expects a marriage to function and how it is not supposed to function. We saw different conditions that would guarantee a failed home even when love was present, but we had encouraged them in our home. And with all that wisdom, we bounced back, put the word to work and have never looked back again!
Now, by the special grace of God given to us, we want to share our lessons with you. We begin from sharing what relationships really are, to identifying the roles of the man and woman in the relationship and then climax by sharing tips for finding the right partner.
We also touch on the all-important subject of maturity and show you five areas you must grow in if you want to have a blissful home. In all, we have laid the antidote to our 3 years of hellish marriage and the prerequisite for our 7+ years of heaven on earth. Same man, same woman but different marriages!
Today, we are glad to share a bit of that with you too in this book. We hope you not only get blessed by this but that you probably join us for our online training or one of our offline seminars someday.
Thanks for joining us on this journey. Happy reading!