Rules for Engagement

Man is a knot into which relationships are tied. - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
A relationship is an association between two or more people. We are all in relationship to others. We may be involved in an emotionally intimate connection with someone such as a lover, spouse or partner. We are likely to be involved in social interactions with friends, neighbors and community. Most of us have relationships with those we consider family and very few of us escape the necessity of dealing with the complexity of professional or working relationships.
This book is not only about one-on-one intimate relationships, but any situation that involves an "other." It can apply to our social groups, friends, co-workers, employers, lovers and family members.
Not all relationships are healthy. Often we find ourselves in stressful relationships where resentment builds, ulcers develop, our chests hurt or depression sets in. This is one reason why, as a society, we have become major consumers of pharmaceuticals. We may find ourselves asking "Am I crazy?" Or, "What is wrong with this picture?" Understanding what's wrong can help alleviate the anxiety we feel. We may be more anxious in the dark - the unknown.
When you find yourself asking these questions, it may be because one of the Rules for Engagement is missing: Reciprocity, Reliability, Respect. The pages that follow show you how to shine a light into the darkness to reveal what has been missing.
This book is not intended as a "magic bullet", a psychological tome, a guide to life, or instant cure for potentially deep psychological wounding. Instead, use it as another tool or a "check list" as so many of these helpful guides have proven to be.
The purpose of this book is to use the Rules for Engagement to help you evaluate your intimate, social, family or professional relationships so that you may better understand why you may be feeling uncomfortable. It can not only help you determine what is missing or what is wrong, but it can also help you determine what is right in your relationship. This book will help shed light on the picture, help you make smarter relationship decisions and help you choose an appropriate course of action when necessary