The Intimate Animal
The Science of Sex, Fidelity, and Why We Live and Die for Love
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- $19.99
Publisher Description
In an eye-opening exploration of the most powerful force that drives our species, Kinsey Institute Director Dr. Justin Garcia illuminates the mysteries of how we date, mate and navigate our love lives.
"The best book on modern mating.” - David M. Buss, author of The Evolution of Desire.
Why do we love who we love? Why do we stay in unfulfilling relationships, and stray from rewarding ones? Is it ever a good idea to open a relationship? How has the digital age impacted courtship? And why do some long-time couples crash and burn while others stay madly in love?
In The Intimate Animal, one of the world’s leading experts on the science of love and sex answers these questions and more, taking readers on a journey through the lifecycle of a romantic relationship, from the thrill of first attraction to the devotion that lasts decades.
Intimacy is core to the human condition, a key pillar of a loving relationship, and an evolutionary drive. In fact, Dr. Garcia reveals that the need for intimacy –even more than sex drive– is key to our species’ survival and flourishing.
But therein lies the challenge. We evolved for social monogamy but not for sexual monogamy, yet these impulses are often at odds. Understanding this tension is the key to aligning our romantic choices with our true desires.
Whether you're seeking that special someone, recovering from heartbreak, or trying to keep the passion alive, The Intimate Animal is the essential, research-backed guide to forging deeper, more intimate connections in these disconnected times.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
The eye-opening debut study from evolutionary biologist Garcia tackles the contradictions at the heart of human relationships. Humans evolved to form pair bonds, he explains, an adaptation that ensures the pooling of resources and cooperation needed to survive and raise infants. The instinct to form close bonds creates a strong biological imperative to seek out love and emotional intimacy as its basis. But that instinct, the author writes, clashes with an opposing drive for sexual exploration, which may be rooted in the novelty-seeking, risk-taking genes that propelled humans to leave Africa and migrate around the globe. Garcia uses the tension between these two drives—for intimacy and for sexual novelty—to explore in fascinating detail a host of issues, including why people cheat (and why relationships can recover after infidelity), why it's so hard to get over exes (breakups constitute a "serious threat to our physical and mental health"), and how couples can balance competing desires for love and novelty to build successful relationships. Along the way, Garcia weaves together anecdotes and scientific research (including some intriguing examples from the natural world, like monogamous prairie voles and sensation-seeking bluebirds) to delve into the complexities of what makes relationships work. Readers will be riveted.
