The Kids Are in Bed
Finding Time for Yourself in the Chaos of Parenting
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- $13.99
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- $13.99
Publisher Description
"All new moms should shove a copy of The Kids Are in Bed in the diaper bag between the asswipes and Aquaphor! A perfect guide on how-to not morph solely into someone’s mom and retain your badassery in a world of Disneyfication and baby sharks.”
—Jill Kargman, author of Sprinkle Glitter on My Grave and creator of Odd Mom Out
Picture it—it's 8:30 p.m. You close the door to your child's room just as you hear your partner closing the dishwasher, and now it's time for an hour or two of glorious freedom. What do you do? Read the book you've been waiting to crack open all day? Chat on the phone with a friend, glass of wine in hand, or go out with pals and share a whole bottle? Or, like many modern parents, do you get caught up in chores, busywork, and social media black holes?
In an original survey conducted for this book, 71 percent of parents said their free time didn't feel free at all, because they were still thinking about all the things they should be doing for their kids, their jobs, and their households. Rachel Bertsche found herself in exactly that bind. After dozens of interviews with scientists and parenting experts, input from moms and dads across the country, and her own experiments with her personal time, Rachel figured out how to transform her patterns and reconnect to her pre-kids life. In The Kids Are in Bed, other parents can learn to do the same, and learn to truly enjoy the time after lights-out.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Bertsche (MWF Seeking BFF), a journalist and mother of two, encourages fellow parents to find, or create, free time for themselves between childcare obligations, in a less than revelatory, but nonetheless helpful, self-care primer. Mixing personal recollections, common sense talk, and pointers from happiness research, she describes using "pockets of indulgence" to maintain a sense of oneself as a "whole person," not just a parent. Bertsche's basic message is to let go of the "multitasking myth," which results in guilt-ridden "contaminated time," when one attempts leisure and obligatory tasks simultaneously in her case, folding laundry and watching Law and Order: SVU to the detriment of both. Instead, she recommends finding most likely short, but intensely focused periods of single-minded attention to a rewarding activity. Bertsche also urges couples to find time together when they don't talk about their kids, and not to downplay nonfamily connections. In her case, she glowingly describes enjoying a recent hours-long phone call with an old friend. Though unlikely to come as a surprise to anyone, the suggestions in her book are laudably specific, and heeding them might very well improve one's own parental "happiness gap."
