The Self-Destruction Handbook

REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS

Let’s face it, there are thousands of books out there to help you avoid self-destructive behavior—but what fun is that? Welcome to the first book designed to help you not help yourself. Here you’ll find unsound advice on everything from engineering a revenge affair to picking the gateway drug that’s best for you.

Chapters include:

• 12 Steps to a Drinking “Problem”
• Condoms Are for Suckers
• How to Lose Way Too Much Weight in 90 Days
• And more!

As you travel down the road to self-destruction, let this hedonistic handbook be your guide. It may steer you wrong—in fact, it’s sure to do so—but when being wrong is this much fun, who wants to be right?