Why do the things you want elude you?
Intimacy. Validation. Romance. Nice things. More time. Most women wish for these every day.
In Things Will Get as Good as You Can Stand, bestselling author Laura Doyle says that all of these things are available to us, but receiving them makes women feel uncomfortable. We turn away praise at work, help with the house, an expression of admiration so that we appear to be in control. The result is a Superwoman Syndrome: we are overworked and exhausted -- and we feel alone.
In Things Will Get as Good as You Can Stand, Doyle provides steps for overcoming the Superwoman Syndrome and explains why:
• If you act like you don't deserve something, everyone else will agree • Saying what you want makes you more beautiful • Grateful women have better romantic relationships • You should let a man support you • You have to be vulnerable to get emotional help
With her trademark practical approach, Doyle explains why it is "better to receive than to give." She guides you to accepting what you are offered with ease and kindness, which is the expressway to having what you want.
The author of the bestselling The Surrendered Wife theorizes that learning to receive rather than give will foster better relationships. Addressing women specifically, she builds on her earlier work by stressing that allowing a man to financially support his wife or significant other not only inspires him but makes him feel "masculine and purposeful." Doyle, who conducts intimacy workshops and has spread her message via TV appearances, also draws on many examples that detail ways to graciously receive from acquaintances, friends, colleagues and oneself. Her recommendations include ways to say appropriate thank yous, strategies to overcome guilt that can accompany receiving, avenues to articulate what your true desires are, and ways to resist the impulse, here branded "female," to reject help in favor of doing everything alone. One of the more useful chapters describes self-care as a personal discipline. Doyle suggests doing at least three things a day for personal enjoyment, including meditating, taking a nap or having lunch with a friend. Although Doyle makes a convincing case that women have been socialized to give and often feel awkward and guilty about taking help, gifts and support from others, much of her advice could be condensed into a magazine article. Her text is overly simplistic and frequently repetitive.