Understanding Men

When a man and a woman come together in wholeness, it is the most beautiful and rare of things. When each person is whole within themselves - contented, fulfilled, self-realised and need-less (though not desire-less) - and there is complete love and acceptance for the other, as they are, the world sees the glow and is more joyful.
However, very few of us have that wholeness - most of us have some emotional wound(s) or scar(s), yet to be healed. And, as like attracts like, so we attract partners with similar wounds. Caroline Myss calls this "woundology" and if, say, a woman has not been able to resolve (within) the abuse she had from her father, she will most likely attract an abusive partner. And if a man has been "trained" to hide his feelings ("Big boys don't cry") he could easily attract a partner who will not allow him to express himself. Or, the same man may attract a partner who needs and demands of him that he express his feelings, thereby ripping the plaster from an unhealed wound, a wound he is ashamed of but knows not how to heal. And we know not the pain we cause when we're being helpful, sometimes, especially when the other person cannot talk of that pain.
No one can heal the pain of another and no one has the responsibility for another's pain. We can be there, we can support, we can listen but we cannot resolve - that has to come from the bearer of the pain. And, until that pain is healed, situations and people will come in to remind, to exacerbate, to expose, to challenge, to annoy - until something is done by the bearer to attempt a healing. When the honest intention of self-healing is there, then the universe sends in the listeners, the friends, the allowers. But not until the intention is there ...