You Can Keep That to Yourself
A Comprehensive List of What Not to Say to Black People, for Well-Intentioned People of Pallor
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- $13.99
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- $13.99
Publisher Description
“An alphabetized short list of things not to say to African-Americans . . . Smyer’s hilarious sampler offers astute observations on race and culture.” —Publishers Weekly
Greetings, well-intentioned person of pallor!
Your good intentions used to be enough. But in these diverse and divisive times, some people would hold you accountable for your actions. You were not raised for such unfairness. You need help. Now, Daquan—that black coworker you are referring to when you claim to have black friends—is here to give you that help, as you navigate perilous small talk with African Americans.
How to use: Whenever you are confronted with an African American and you feel compelled to blurt out an observation about her hair or to liken your Tesla lease to slavery, take a moment to consult this reference. If the keen insight you want to share is listed herein . . . you can keep that to yourself.
“By turns funny, sarcastic, and possibly true for many Black (and non-Black) Americans . . . While there is humor throughout, there is also a strong sense of anger, annoyance, and weariness when it comes to the Black experience in America. And though Smyer is addressing white people specifically, his humor can be appreciated by anyone who needs a good chuckle (and an education).” —Library Journal
“A balm for tongues bitten and comments swallowed . . . A bitingly humorous compendium of the absurd subtle racism of the American workplace.” —Kirkus Reviews
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
In this slim and witty volume, attorney Smyer (Knucklehead) collects an alphabetized short list of things not to say to African-Americans. Smyer, writing as Daquan, "the black co-worker you are referring to when you claim to have black friends," wisecracks about the common verbal miscues of whites, whether when complimenting educated blacks on their speech ("This black man talking to me is so articulate!"), talking in Ebonics ("Don't say, They be like.' Keep that be' shit to yourself"), referring to someone as a thug ("Half the people you think are thugs are in high school. Meanwhile, you politely overlook the several overt nazis you pass on the street each day"), or commenting on watermelons ("Just kidding you can say watermelon"). When conversations turn to immigration and Ellis Island, Smyer notes the irony of slavery: "Getting on the boat was idea." Each entry is designed to strip away the hypocrisy and half-truths of these cultural exchanges by laughing at them. Smyer's hilarious sampler offers astute observations on race and culture.