Why We Fight
A Transformative Road Map to Healing Conflict in Any Relationship
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- CHF 13.00
Beschreibung des Verlags
In Why We Fight, relationship coach and couples' therapist, Kim Polinder reveals the real reasons those familiar arguments keep returning, no matter how small the trigger seems. Polinder shows that most conflicts aren't really about the dishes or chores, they're about core wounds, attachment styles and negative self-beliefs that formed long before you entered any relationship.
Inspired by her years as a tech engineer, Polinder provides a systematic, root-cause approach, turning overwhelming feelings into a clear, step-by-step process to navigate arguments better. Through case studies, practical exercises and guided questions, you'll learn to troubleshoot arguments in real time, regulate your emotions, communicate effectively and reframe old patterns. Along the way, you'll discover not only how to improve your relationship, but also a deeper understanding of yourself and why you hurt the way you do.
If you're sick of feeling out of control as the same old fights keep bubbling up, Why We Fight provides a path to understanding the real reasons we argue and how to finally change them, before it's too late.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Relationship coach and children's book author Polinder (Zara's Adventure in the Stars) makes her adult debut with this pragmatic guide to navigating arguments more productively. She contends that fighting triggers past trauma, causing people to assume entrenched emotional roles they've inhabited in the past rather than being their "true selves." To fight more constructively, readers should work to better understand their core injuries, which often stem from unresolved childhood trauma or flawed parental relationship models. During the argument, they can draw on that knowledge to more easily identify and express their deep-seated needs, which are often obscured by the disagreement's ostensible focus, as well as empathize with their partner and work to reach a compromise. Following the fight, readers can reflect on the argument and, if necessary, reshape expectations for the relationship. Polinder draws on her former career as an engineer for a methodical approach that centers on digging up root causes, and she provides such actionable tools as a step-by-step flowchart for working through conflicts, complete with troubleshooting questions for surmounting common sticking points. Readers who feel stuck in repetitive cycles of conflict with a partner, friend, or family member will be especially enlightened.
