Horizon's

TRIGGER WARNING SEXUAL ASSAULT and SUICIDE - I wrote this originally back in 1997. At the time I was a fresh college graduate, assistant manager at a department store, trying to figure out what was next. I was also suffering from undiagnosed PTSD, the trauma a result of a rape that occurred when I was a virgin. It apparently was so traumatic that I had complete amnesia about the event for 29 years. I spent most of those intoxicated. I had never drank or used drugs prior to the rape and I didn’t use them immediately. I waited until I was twenty one. A good little law abiding alcoholic, until I wasn’t. A DUI in 2010 would break that streak. (I drove less than a mile and hurt only myself while blackout drunk, possibly a suicide attempt, as I accelerated straight into a concrete filled steel pillar. That would have been attempt number two, there would be three in total during my lost years.) For those I have hurt on my journey to awareness, I can never fully apologize. I share this now in the hope that others who have PTSD for whatever reason and especially rape survivors may find something valuable here. Something that resonates maybe. Mostly I share it because I want to feel less alone in this crazy world that we all find ourselves in. I love you all.



Godspeed,



Bryan Allen Zimmerman