How to Turn Someone Down

A short ebook from my relationship series and blog: "Finding Mr Huggie-Wuggie" that is all about building an outstanding foundation for an outstanding marriage. This ebook contains 7 articles:

How to Ask Someone Out
This is why experience has taught me that deeply knowing and caring for one another is the right context for a relationship: perhaps above all, because in your pre-romantic interaction, trust has already had a chance to build up between you: you know one another really well, you can vouch for one another; each party trusts that the other person ultimately has their own best interests at heart.

How to Turn Someone Down
So the main point of this post is to communicate that no matter what, you should act with sensitivity towards the feelings of the person who asked you out. I guess I could also talk about the times I have failed to be sufficiently sensitive when being asked out! Sensitivity and gentleness are absolutely key because someone might have had to grab their courage in both hands to actually ask you out (no matter how casual they might make it look.)

Celebrating Some Amazing Friends
But then it occurred to me that actually, I’ve already got so many amazing friends! And I sincerely do. However you would never know it because I am always complaining! But God has blessed me with so many people who love Him and love me. The reason I fail to appreciate these friendships as much as I should is because all these friends are spread out in different places, and I know them all in different contexts. My dream would be for all these outstanding and lovely people to be concentrated in one geographical location, if we all attended the same church service at the same time, every week. And then from that true community could arise. This above all is what my heart craves most deeply, even more, so much more, than it craves Huggie-Wuggie!

Of Husbands and Husbandry
I’m sure most people will have come across the idea that women are supposedly irrational or overly emotional. Personally speaking, I have always resisted this idea, not least on this blog. By the grace of God, I am quite confident that I think in a very logical and rational way. I like to think that I approach my life with common-sense. I like to think through things and build systematic foundations for myself.

Fulfilling His Needs!
I guess that in writing this blog I always assume that (of course, by God’s grace!) I am going to be a great wife! Because I am so sincere about all of this, and I think about it so deeply! Surely from all this I do not need to sit down and explicitly spell out the ways in which I plan to be my very best, for him, in that I have indirectly spelled it out so many times, and I have endlessly communicated my determination in this area!

Talking About…Adultery!
I personally think that there is only one thing that will reliably stop someone from committing adultery. That is an absolute determination to be faithful to your God, via being faithful to your spouse. Even with this, fidelity is not guaranteed. You have got to make up your mind, that no matter what, you will not do this thing! And here is the thing, it does not matter who your spouse is! It does not matter who the potential lure might be!

Please Lord, Let Him Not Ask Me Out!
It might so happen that I meet someone whom I find particularly striking and who seems on first glance to be unspeakably interesting! In this case I could pray and pray and pray – but then leave it to God. If it does happen that he does casually walk into my life in some way – then that would be great! But if not, then that would also be great – it would simply be a matter of trusting God and God’s judgement.