Antihooliganism: Balloon Boy and the Porcupine Pals, Book 1 (Unabridged‪)‬

Balloon has always been a morbidly obese moron. But recently, something about his feeble brain has changed. Every time he guesses, he’s right. Victory, the girl he’s been crushing on for over 10 years, needs his abilities to save her dying father. 

Desperate for her affection, Balloon agrees to help. There’s only one catch: The cure is over 29 million light years away, perched on a pedestal at the center of the Sombrero Galaxy. Transforming his single-wide trailer into a white trash spaceship, Balloon races to save Victory’s father. Along the way, he encounters an alien regime bent on his annihilation and a few new friends who feed him tacos.