Absurd Ditties

His Lordship thought the matter o'er.

"Crimes ne'er have been so few before; Not long ago, I heard a score Of charges every day; And now—dear me! how canit be?— And, pondering thus, went home to tea.

(He lives Bayswater way.)

A frugal mind has Justice Dear (Indeed, I've heard folks call him "near"), And, caring naught for jibe or jeer, He rides home on a bus.

It singularly came to pass, This day, he chanced to ride, alas!

Beside two of the burglar class; And one addressed him thus:

"We knows yer, Mr. Justice Dear, You've often giv' us 'time'—d'ye hear?— And now your pitch we're going to queer, We criminals has struck!

We're on the 'honest livin' tack, An' not another crib we'll crack, So Justices will get the sack!

How's that, my legal buck?"

This gave his Lordship quite a fright, He had not viewed it in that light.

"Dear me!" he thought, "these men are right, I'd better smooth them down.

"Let's not fall out, my friends," said he, "Continue with your burglarie; Your point of view I clearly see.

Ahem! Here's half-a-crown."