Fatherhood Is Learning: Becoming the Men Our Kids Need Us To Be - a memoir in essays

When I decided to become a stay-at-home dad, after having earned a Ph.D. in the philosophy of education and worked in nonprofits for nearly a decade, I knew I’d learn at least as much from my kids as they would learn from me. I was excited to take part in opening up American gender roles.

But I didn’t anticipate how easily my anxieties about competence and failing as a caregiver would spark reactivity and self-judgment during difficult parenting moments, nor how I would reinforce my social isolation by avoiding other parents whose judgments I feared.

Fatherhood Is Learning shares how I’m becoming the man my kids need me to be through reflection, mindfulness, and friendship, and how loyalty to this cause has transformed my understanding of love and myself. The book is for any man who cares about healthy masculinity, yearns to be the responsive dad his kids deserve, and seeks connection—and for the people who love these men.