Getting Relationships Right

The award-winning author helps you build relational literacy by giving you the principles and tools to understand and practice healthy ways of relating.

Relationships are complicated. Yet it's an unfortunate reality that while most of us have to learn complex geometry that we'll probably never use, we don't get a single formal lesson in how to relate to others. In this comprehensive guidebook, Joy reveals the common psychological dynamics that underlie all kinds of relationships: with a romantic partner, friends, family members, colleagues—in short, with anyone in any situation. Understanding these dynamics can enable you to make all your relationships healthier and more resilient, and help you contribute to creating a better world.


Drawing on the most relevant research as well as on her own extensive experience as a psychologist, Joy explains how to strengthen your "relational immune system" to resist not only interpersonal stressors but also largely invisible yet potentially devastating societal stressors like racism and sexism. With this understanding, you can cultivate relationships that consistently reflect core moral values and honor the dignity of everyone involved. Resilient relationships are a source of joy and fulfillment for those who are in them—and they also support the thriving of the organizations and communities of which we all are a part.

"A wise, practical, and well-researched template for creating healthy relationships of any kind . . . I recommend this book to anyone wishing to expand their social-emotional intelligence!" —Susan Campbell, PhD, author of Five-Minute Relationship Repair