Lubrican's Humor

What is erotica?
It's sexy stories ... right? It's stories that make you want to HAVE sex ... right?
So what happens to the people WRITING these sexy stories? I mean they must want to have sex pretty much non-stop ... right?
And I don't care who he/she is, the most perfect mate in the whole WORLD doesn't want to have you pawing him/her every twenty minutes because of all the hot stuff that keeps flowing onto the paper (or computer screen) in front of you, from your oh, so sexy mind.

So what to do every twenty minutes instead of have actual sex?

Why masturbate! Of course!

Which is why these two COMPLETELY SCIENTIFIC, ENTIRELY SERIOUS and EXTENSIVELY RESEARCHED SCHOLARLY manuals on masturbation are being made available to you, so that, just in case YOU become an author of erotica some day, or maybe just want to have sex, but can't because there's nobody around to have sex with. One is for the males out there, and the other is for the females.

And even if you don't masturbate (I hear those people saying "Ewwwwww" right now) then trust me, you'll have PLENTY of unique and catchy conversational tidbits to share at your next cocktail party.

After the Treatise on Male Masturbation and the Treatise on Female Masturbation are finished, you may WANT to become an author of erotica, so Bob has thoughtfully provided a thorough and complete manual on exactly how to do that. Follow his rules of writing erotica and you'll have more women than Hugh Haffgner or more men than Lady Gag Gag hanging all over you. Who are Hugh Haffgner and Lady Gag Gag? They're just some people I know, who read the manual and wrote some extremely hot stories and will be really really famous some day. Why did they name themselves Hugh Haffgner and Lady Gag Gag?

Read the manual and all will be explained.

Warning: This isn't humor for those under the age of eighteen. It has bad words in it, people!