Sheppard of the Argonne

The nightmares had begun during the weeks of surgery, one operation after another at Balboa Naval Hospital to repair his leg and make him "fit for duty". And when Sheppard awoke during those weeks at the hospital... it was easy to blame the pain instead of the nightmares when nurses asked. Morphine dulled the reality of his horrific memories, but he had no morphine at home as he progressed form crutches to cane and finally, now, to just a limp. Without narcotics, the dream grew sharper, clearer in the consequences of his decisions - his decisions, killing his men. Sheppard could not hide the dreams from Evelyn. He had never been able to hide anything from her. So he told her that it was indeed just a nightmare and that it would pass in time as his body healed. He could not tell whether she believed him. He hoped she did, for her sake. It would make his return to war easier.


Sheppard feared that the dream would turn back into reality and he would have to live through it all again. Three months of reviewing his own decisions to find his mistakes and learn from them only left him frustrated. The logic for his actions appeared justifiable and sound, but his motivation... what had it been - glory, ego, hubris?  Before December 7th, Sheppard had been supremely confident, sure of his ability to lead his men, certain that he could not be beaten.