The Zero Dog War

The first bullet is always free. After that, you gotta pay.


After accidentally blowing up a client's facility and ruining a cushy city contract in the same day, pyromancer and mercenary captain Andrea Walker is scrambling to save her Zero Dogs. Her team of misfits includes a sexually repressed succubus, a werewolf with a thing for health food, the token vampire, a three-hundred-pound calico cat, and a massive demon who really loves to blow stuff up. Life is never dull for these paranormal guns for hire.


With the bankruptcy vultures circling, the government throws her a high-paying, short-term contract even the Zero Dogs can't screw up: destroy a capitalist necromancer bent on dominating the gelatin industry with an all-zombie workforce. The catch? She has to take on Special Forces Captain Jake Sanders, a man who threatens both the existence of the team and Andrea's deliberate avoidance of messy romantic entanglements.


As Andrea strains to hold her dysfunctional team together long enough to derail the corporate zombie apocalypse, the prospect of getting her heart run over by a tank tread is the least of her worries. The government never does anything without an ulterior motive. Jake could be the key to success...or just another line item in her expanding list of problems. Oh, and the necromancer begins expanding his commercial enterprise by bussing zombies to rob banks and wreaking general havoc. Good thing Andrea isn't afraid to burn a few bridges to get the job done.


Important note: contains rough language, intense action and violence that may involve fire, rampaging zombie hordes, a heroine with an attitude and flamethrower, Special Forces commandos, ninjas, apocalyptic necromancer capitalist machinations, absurd parody and mayhem, self-deluded humor, irreverence, geek humor, mutant cats, low-brow comedy, and banana-kiwi-flavored gelatin