Windfall

How many of us dream of a rich, unknown uncle dying and leaving us a fortune. "Yeah like that would ever happen." So thought Jeremy and Will Bitner; until they were contacted by an attorney's assistant for the reading of a will..

I Sylvester William Mumford Ramsey, being conscious enough to know that I ought to write a will, think I better get with it since I'm not getting any younger. Well, nobody gets any younger, so I've got lots of company.
I know that that rapscallion brother-in-law of mine – hope he's rotting wherever he is – had a couple of grandkids: So I'm gonna leave this here house and all my stuff to them, but only because it chaps my hide to think that the state would take it all if I didn't leave it to someone. I jist hope they aren't a couple of low-lifes like their grandpappy.