The Joke Book For People Who Think Getting Old Is a Joke

Since I turned 70, I am the purfict person to put out this BOOK about getting OLD which was difficult. At my age, I've seen it all, heard it all and done it all... I just can't remember it all.

I first realized I was getting old when I noticed that my neck and back were the only things that got stiff.

I've also arrived at the conclusion that before you can be old and wise, you first have to be young and stupid.

Sure I'm old enought to know better but I'm also old enough to not give a shit.

Even my old girlfriend was starting to look like an old lady so I got her a complete makeover. She no longer looks like an old lady. Now, she looks like an old man.

If you've been wondering why Diapers have brand names such as "Luvs", "Pampers" and "Huggies", while undergarments for old people are called "Depends", here is the reason... When babies crap in their pants, people are still gonna Luv 'em, Pamper 'em and Hug 'em... When Old people crap in their pants... it "Depends" on who's in the will.

Laughing at ourselves no matter how old we get is the best way to stay young and this book will provide enough laughs to put you back in diapers, if you're not already there.

– The Unknown Comic