Have I Been Over-Wed‪?‬

My first husband, Goldie was obsessed with kids, and he chose to be with another woman just for kids. He said he loved me, but I dont know whether he was true as when I asked him to hire a surrogate mother; he turned me down saying he wanted a child with love. Does love mean to have physical relation only and produce children? It might be so. I am still searching an answer to this. He asked me to stay in his life just as a mere doll, and I could not accomplish that.
My second husband, Brainie was simply obsessed with money. For him, money was everything and other things served no importance in his life. He wanted me to be his money machine and after spending seven years with him, Dave came in my life.
Dave, my third husband was obsessed with sex. For him marriage was just the license to physical relation freely.Whereas for me, marriage is a very sacred relation; a relation which I believe can be nurtured only with love, faith and happiness. Again love is not a simple as it sounds to be. It is the mental and emotional attachment between two persons. You cannot go before two or three persons at a time, and tell them that you love them.
Before you tell a person that you love him or her, at first give a thought whether you have any respect for that person and if you can keep him or her happy. Have some love in your heart for the person with whom you are sharing a physical relation. I am so confused after so many incidents in my life that I still do not have answers to many questions. I am writing this bookand I hope earnestly that the readers will help me in finding answers to these questions:
I dont know if I had been married too many times.
I dont know even if any one of my husbands loved me.
I dont know if they had just abused my life and my trust and kicked me out of their lives.