Face the Regulations: Patients Held Hostage in America (Article 381: 2 Clock Hours‪)‬

John Q. Reporter: Good afternoon America. Welcome to KSAC's special investigative report entitled, "Face the Regulations: Patients Held Hostage in America." This program is brought to you by South Arkansas Community College. My name is John Q. Reporter, and I will be hosting this stimulating investigation of patients being held hostage in America. Today on "Face the Regulations" we will be talking about some very important and yet especially disturbing events that have occurred throughout the United States over the last few days. The daily news has been giving graphic reports of several hostage situations throughout the nation. Reports have come from the East and the West. And just this morning, a very disturbing hostage situation in the North with possible torture involved, followed by an attack on an extraction unit member in the South. Out in the field we have multiple reports coming in of what appears to be pure sabotage. The families involved have appealed to the Administration for help with no results. What will be the outcome and how will we deal with these situations? To shed some light on these events and help us discuss these apparent atrocities is our distinguished panel. May I now introduce to you Mr. Drumlin Do-Right. Mr. Do-Right is the ranking member of ASEP. For those of you not familiar with ASEP, it is the American Society for Ethical Phlebotomy. Mr. Do-Right is also the inventor of the ever popular Clear Conscience Sleep Aid which can be purchased wherever fine scruples are sold. Next to Mr. Do-Right is Mr. Omar Webad. Mr. Webad is a self designated representative and spokesperson of the Opposition Party and author of the bestselling book, "How to become unemployed in ONE easy step." Tell me Mr. Webad, your biography seems incomplete. Could you tell the audience the name and mission of your Opposition Party?