The Luck of the Bodkins (Unabridged‪)‬

Things on board the
R.M.S. Atlantic are terribly, terribly complicated...

Monty Bodkin loves Gertrude, who thinks he likes Lotus Blossom, a starlet, who definitely adores Ambrose, who thinks that she has a thing for his brother, Reggie, who is struck by Mabel Spence, sister-in-law of Ikey Llewellyn (movie mogul, Ambrose's prospective employer, and reluctant smuggler), but hasn't the means to marry her.

With well-meaning but unhelpful ship's steward Albert Peasemarch and a toy mouse with a screw-top head thrown in for good measure, it will, indead, take the luck of the Bodkins to sort it all out.