How to Actually Pray

Prayer was never meant to be a performance
You want to pray, but the words feel awkward. Your mind wanders. Silence feels empty. Perhaps grief, disappointment, or doubt has made prayer harder than it used to be. Or perhaps it has been so long that you no longer know how to begin.

How to Actually Pray offers a calm, practical way back—without impressive language, rigid routines, or pretending to feel more certain than you do.

Built around the memorable STAY Method, this guide will help you:
• Start with who God is
• Tell the truth about what is happening inside you
• Attend in silence without forcing an answer
• Yield the next responsible step

You will also learn how to use the Lord’s Prayer and ACTS naturally, pray Scripture in your own words, discern guidance carefully, pray for others without controlling the outcome, and keep praying through anger, grief, doubt, numbness, and unanswered requests.

The book concludes with a practical 21-day guided prayer journey designed to help you build a habit you can return to—even after a missed day, a difficult season, or an answer you did not expect.
Written from the author’s lived experience of bereavement, single parenthood, retrenchment, and prayers answered very differently from the way they were asked, this is not a book of easy promises. It is an invitation to remain in honest conversation with God.

You do not need perfect words to begin. You only need to begin honestly.