I Never Arkansas It Coming

Red state. Red blooded. Ready for trouble.

Brett Sargent isn't adapting to life in Arkansas very well. A native New Yorker, she's whisked away to Little Falls in the Witness Protection Program after testifying against her former high school lab partner, now a Mafia up-and-comer. Her only friend is a happy-go-lucky guard dog named Dude.

While moonlighting as a detective to pay the rent, Brett is hired by Elaine Scrubbs and her smokin’ hot redneck brother, Jake. They ask her to find Elaine’s missing husband. But when Hank Scrubbs turns up dead with a Mafia calling card stabbed to his chest, Brett knows she's next on their hit list.

To stay alive, Brett tangles with a liar, a truck driver, a flesh-eating Mafia lawyer, a one-eyed repairman, a shotgun-wielding racist, a vindictive Kroger clerk, a Bible thumper, and a shoplifter named Rick James who just might be the best friend she's been waiting for.

A fast-paced comic mystery, I Never Arkansas It Coming takes one private investigator for the ride of her life in a place she never wanted to call home.