Pope Chronicles: The Ministry of Deputy Boyfriends

The one thing that men fear the most, after their wives and mothers that is, is being cuckolded. This fictional memoire is a tongue in cheek self-help manual to unburden men of this fear. Misappropriating religious and political jargon and theories, the memoire tackles issues that the modern men is faced with in his amorous relations with the opposite sex. In the main, the memoire highlights the role played by deputy boyfriends in assisting men in relating with their lovers. Its premise is that due to a host of factors, patriarchy chief among them, the majority of men are handicapped in loving a woman. Thus creating a vacuum – and as the Commander in Chief Julius Malema is wont to say; nature doesn’t allow a vacuum.

The memoire is written from the perspective of Yosef abuYeshua II, former pontiff of the Holy Alliance of Deputy Boyfriends and leader in the ministry of deputising. He explores the major moments of the ministry during his papacy, utilising the official statements from the papal office with explanatory commentary. This to bring to light the work of the Alliance and its position on the contentious issues of the day. It is the ultimate appraisal of all the deputy boyfriends, from the original deputy boyfriend Joseph who deputised God to South Africa’s very own Dali Mpofu who deputised for Tata Nelson Mandela.