Struggle

"Are you dating him?"

I’ve been best friends with David since the beginning of high school, and that question has been asked about us a lot. It’s like people can’t fathom how a super hot, charismatic guy can be just friends with an overly tall, boyish-figured girl. Wait. I think they probably can, because the next question is always a hopeful, "He’s single?"

David is always single. But, he’s never wanting.

Girls throw themselves at his feet like he’s some kind of rockstar. But not me. No. I’m just his friend; a fact he likes to remind me of at every opportunity.

And I’m OK with that—I think—because he’s right. Our friendship is too important. And honestly, I don’t want to be one of David’s girls. I see the way he uses them to meet his needs then casts them aside when his interest wanes. I’m not about that life. I want something more.

Something I don’t think David is capable of giving me.

That’s not to say I’m immune to his charms. I’ve never been immune.

I delight in the way his eyes twinkle when he smiles at me.

I relish in the way his voice ripples beneath my skin when we share a secret moment.

And I love the way his fingers feel against my skin when we touch…

Love.

Yes, I’ve always loved David. Problem is, David has never loved me. Not the way I want him to, anyway.

So, what's a girl to do? Pine and hope for something that will never come? Or suck it up and move on?

I’m choosing to accept my reality and move on, a choice made easier when I start a new job and the hot AF junior solicitor shows an interest in me despite our office’s ‘No Dating’ policy.

David should be happy for me. Elliot is the first guy I’ve felt a deep attraction to in years. Despite the secrecy needed, he seems like the perfect distraction from my troubles, the perfect solution to heal my heart. He even likes David and doesn’t make an issue about my best friend being a guy.

But David isn’t happy. In fact, he’s downright angry over my new relationship. He says he’s worried I’ll get hurt again. But I don’t know, it feels bigger than that. It feels like I’m losing my best friend. Even though I’m playing by his rules.

What am I supposed to do? While I’m torn with indecision, the choice could be made for me. And this time, I might lose everything…

Katrina struggles with following her heart or following her mind in this gripping romantic drama featuring new and extended scenes from books A Beautiful Struggle and Too Close, republished as Struggle: Beautiful Series, one.