The Gift of Not Belonging
How Outsiders Thrive in a World of Joiners
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- 11,99 €
Description de l’éditeur
From a renowned psychiatrist comes the first book to explore the otrovert personality—someone who feels like an outsider in any group—revealing all the advantages of being an otrovert.
Were you the kid who never wanted to join after school clubs or go to sleepaway camp? Do you loathe parties but love spending time with close friends one-on-one? Are you allergic to teamwork but thrive creatively and professionally when working alone? Do you struggle to fit in? If so, you are likely an otrovert.
Otroverts are not natural born joiners. Unlike introverts, they are not shy or quiet, and do not quickly tire from one-on-one socializing. Yet in large groups they feel uncomfortable, alienated, and alone.
Unlike those who have been excluded or marginalized, otroverts are embraced and often quite popular. Yet they never feel like they truly belong.
In a culture that puts a premium on joining, many otroverts have gone through life feeling misunderstood. But, contrary to what we have been taught, argues psychiatrist Rami Kaminski, belonging is not a requirement for living a rich, rewarding life. Quite the opposite.
When you have no affinity for a particular group, your self-worth is not conditioned on the group’s approval. You can enjoy deep connection in individual relationships without the obligation to follow the rules the group follows, or care about what the group cares about. Best of all, you know of no other way to think or be, other than for yourself.
The Gift of Not Belonging urges otroverts to embrace their unique gifts, and equips them with the knowledge and tools to thrive in a communal world.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Psychiatrist Kaminski debuts with an informative guide to otroversion, a personality type defined by a sense of "nonbelonging" to groups. Unlike introverts and extroverts—who are fundamentally oriented toward communities and primed to ascribe to their beliefs—otroverts "never feel part of the shared experience" despite being welcomed into groups. They also lack "apparent behavioral distinctions from well-adjusted individuals." In short chapters bolstered by case studies, the author overviews the challenges inherent to a culture that rewards joiners and distrusts those who fail to adhere to social scripts. He goes on to detail how otroverts can capitalize on such virtues as emotional self-sufficiency (they don't look to others to measure their value) and independent thinking (otroverts reject the opinions of the "hive mind" and excel at coming up with original ideas). Discussing how otroverts can navigate various life stages, Kaminski provides especially valuable advice for parents of otroverts. Noting that childhood is a period during which belonging is particularly emphasized, he advises parents to encourage one-on-one friendships, refrain from forcing their children into communal experiences like summer camps, and recognize that though their child's needs "may be different from the majority's preferences... they are not wrong; they are just different." Those who march to the beat of their own drum will be especially gratified.
