Wehman Bros. Vaudeville Jokes No. 1

The coalman’s season may be the winter, and the summer the iceman’s harvest, so that it’s possible the milkman finds his greatest profit in the spring.


What is the difference between a grocer who uses false weights and a highwayman?

The tradesman lies in weight, while the highwayman lies in wait.


I saw Romeo and Juliet in a restaurant last night. Juliet ordered some soft-shelled crabs and Romeo ordered a cup of tea. Now, the question arises, does Rome-o for what Juli-et?


You know my girl? Her name is Plaster. I go to court Plaster every night. She is a poor girl, but there are lots of other girls as por-ous Plaster. I took her out riding the other day, when the horse ran away and threw her out and broke her leg in four places, and her arm in three places. I got some sticking plaster and put on her leg and arm, and then carried her home. Next morning she wouldn’t speak to me.

Why not?

She was too stuck up.


4

How old did you say your daughter was?

Twenty-two.

Gracious, but she’s young for her age.


George Washington was the bravest man in the world. He was never licked in his life.

Oh, yes he was; he was licked on a postage stamp.

Then they had to do it behind his back.


It has been asked when rain falls, does it ever get up again?

Of course it does, in dew time.


I dared to go up on Broadway to-day and a team ran over me. Just as I was getting up, the driver shouted: “Look out!”

And what did you say?

I said: “Are you coming back?”