How to Be a Footballer How to Be a Footballer

How to Be a Footballer

    • 4.4 • 579 Ratings
    • £7.99

    • £7.99

Publisher Description

'Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' - Sunday Times

'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro

**A Sunday Times Sports Book of the Year**
**Shortlisted for the National Book Awards**
**Longlisted for the Telegraph Sports Book Awards Autobiography of the Year**

You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.

So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.

We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions.

I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?

Sports & Outdoors
Peter Crouch
hr min
8 November
Ebury Publishing

Customer Reviews

aidans audio review ,

nice guy nice book

this will not blow you away, but it will pass the time,

loads better then frank lampards book, not as insightful as the secret footballer, or the mixer, but peter comes across as a nice guy, and the book while not a page turner has a nice pace to it

Kemps222222 ,

Crouchy Nachos

Pure banter and a great listen

Jshksjsjk ,


I bat too many swears but other wise amazing, best book I listened to

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