Boredom is Anti-Life: 250 Anecdotes and Stories

A Sample: 1) American dance pioneer Ted Shawn once choreographed the bawdy ancient Greek comedy 'Lysistrata,' in which the Spartan and Athenian women decide to stop the Peloponnesian War by declining to have sex with their husbands until the war ends. His choreography for the dance was “hot,” and this upset some members of the audience, including one person who said, “A man and woman lying on the floor together have only one thing on their minds!” Mr. Shawn replied, “The man and woman do have just one thing on their minds, and the problem of the ballet was to show it beautifully, which I think I’ve done.” Unfortunately, the threat of being hurt at the box office led Mr. Shawn to tone down the sexuality of the dance, something he neglected to tell dancer Myrna Pace. While dancing the role, Ms. Pace of course noticed the changes in the way Mr. Shawn was dancing and joked, “Don’t you love me anymore?” 2) Jack Benny was George Burns’ best friend and best audience: Mr. Burns could always make Mr. Benny laugh. Once, Mr. Benny complained about not sleeping well. Mr. Burns asked, “How did you sleep the night before?” Mr. Benny replied, “The night before I slept great.” Mr. Burns then advised, “Try sleeping every other night.” And once, Mr. Burns said absolutely nothing, and Mr. Benny started laughing. Mr. Burns asked why Mr. Benny was laughing; after all, he (Mr. Burns) had not said a word. Mr. Benny replied, “I know. But you didn’t say it on purpose.” 3) Both Jim Backus and Alan Hale, who played Thurston Howell III and the Skipper on 'Gilligan’s Island,' were avid golfers. Once, they made a bet about who could drive a golf ball further, so they started hitting golf balls on the CBS back lot. They were too lazy to walk out to see who had driven the ball further, so they argued about it, with Mr. Backus claiming, “My ball went at least 10 yards further than yours.” Just then, a security guard came up to them and announced that one of the golf balls had gone through the window of a car in the parking lot. Mr. Backus immediately pointed to Mr. Hale and said, “He outdrove me by a mile!”