Boringness pushed me to live in lies

Boringness pushed me to live in lies
When i was a child, being alone the most part of the day ... i felt life is boring.
So ... i've chased for something to improve things, but i had no idea what i am looking for.
Later on ... I've defined this period of my life as the beginning of starting to practice the art of doing stupid things.
And ... no matter how young i was, i was aware of all what i was doing.
Fortunately or unfortunately ... between a boring existence and a crazy one ... I preferred to feel alive.
I simple hate to feel ... bored.
Be a zombie.
Today ... being into my middle age era ... i realised that somehow i've ruined my life with all the nonsenses which i've done, but i have no regrets.
I could even admit that boringness pushed me to live in lies ... but all is ok.
And ... i smile.
Treating all ... as normality, being a clear evidence that i am still dominated by duality.
Which ... translated ... means still being into my nonsense era.
But ... I guess ... this is the journey of life.