Bullies, Bitches and Bastards

A hilarious guide to dissing the dicks in your life.

After years of meeting and putting up with crap people, a serious illness left Eileen Condon with plenty of time to ask herself why she ever put up with them. Her recovery was aided by countless hours spent in pubs with friend Amanda Edwards where they purged their bile about all the bullies, bitches and bastards that they have encountered.

Bullies Bitches and Bastards is the result of their cathartic trawl through a rogues' gallery of crap boyfriends, girlfriends, bosses, family members, neighbours and work colleagues – people whose characteristics read like a thesaurus of cunning: sly, Machiavellian, gerrymandering, duplicitous, crafty, vulpine bastards.

There's The Enormous Baby Boyfriend. He thinks you're his mummy. You have to cater to his every whim and pay him round-the-clock attention. Or he'll cry, throw a tantrum and vomit – all over you! Ta-da!

Or, how about Beelzeboss? Marvel at the amount of energy they put into bitching and backstabbing. If they worked as hard at their actual job, they'd be Bill Gates. Particularly deft at wheedling out your Achilles heel and using it against you at every opportunity.

Have you met Miss-Fortune Teller? She delights in your disasters. Don't be fooled by the sympathetic ear on the end of the phone, she's biting her knuckles with glee, barely able to contain her excitement at the good news that you're having such a bad time.

Divided into a number of sections including partners, friends, bosses and colleagues this book will appeal to early mid-life, disaffected, disillusioned, burnt-out 30/40-somethings who have met these grotesques at some point in their lives. They, like the authors, want to see them pinned, slit open and dissected like a frog in a school lab.

About the author

Eileen Condon is a journalist who has worked for several publications including: Woman, Marie Claire (UK and Australia), Woman's Realm, Woman's Weekly, OK, Hello and the Sunday Times. She is also a regular columnist for Soapworld (Australia) and part-time media lecturer at Birkbeck College, University of London.

Amanda Edwards is also a journalist, with an equally wide-ranging portfolio including the Mail on Sunday, Sunday Express, Top Sante, Woman and Home, Wallpaper, Red, Take a Break, Good Health and The Guardian. She has also worked as a press officer for the Department of Health and as editorial director at Cabal Communications, which launched Real Homes and front.