Confessions of an Irish Deviant

I’m Irish. I grew up on the outskirts of an average Irish town in the countryside. My town fit all the stereotypes; it had a small population, a few local businesses, and a couple of major factories that employed most of the town’s population. It was the type of town where literally everyone knows what everybody else is doing. The illustrious elders and my ancestors would turn in their graves today if they knew about my current escapades in the world, but allowing the dead their hard earned respite, let me assure you that the local hairdresser, butcher, and fish and chip shop owner would have enough gossip to keep the community scandalised for the next decade or so—or perhaps not. Who knows what all those staunch, law-abiding citizens are up to behind their closed doors?