Death to All Cheerleaders

Before he was a #1 Amazon.com bestselling humorist and a contributor to The New York Times, Esquire, Playboy, The Atlantic, and MTV News, Marty Beckerman (“laugh-out-loud”—USA Today) was a sarcastic teenager from tropical Anchorage, Alaska, who had a column in the local newspaper. Week after week, he skewered high school rites of passage, decried adolescent superficiality, and chronicled his own hopeless attempts to get a date.


In 2000, at age 17, Beckerman collected his cynical tirades into a book that went Web 1.0 viral, shipped 1,000 copies from his parents’ basement, and launched his career as a professional writer who sometimes even puts on pants before noon. Fifteen years later, this expanded and revised edition—with 20,000 words of bonus content from 1998-2001—showcases the comedic origins of “the most famous author from Alaska,” according to Business Insider.


(For the record, Beckerman—now a semi-mature adult man—no longer has a problem with cheerleaders, and even admits they’re probably okay people. We all lose our ideals eventually.) 


“Funny stuff . . . Marty is a very precocious smart-ass with a mean streak of cynicism . . .” —New York Press 


“[A] hilarious gash against hypocrisy . . .” —PopMatters 


“His articles show the evils in this world as he sees them, and take us through the typical teenage rites of passage. . . . His talent, wit, and confrontational nature promise him a bright future.” —The Mitzpeh (University of Maryland) 


“Once the initial shock of Beckerman’s profanity and hatred wears off, there are some highly readable and humorous gags. . . . Frequently hilarious.” —The Anchorage Daily News 


“Beckerman is able to have you rolling on the floor in a convulsive fit of relentless laughter. . . . It is very well worth the cost. Don’t miss out on this one.” —Union Weekly (California State University, Long Beach)