Every Little Secret

Needing to love…

Every day I’m with Chad, I prove my dad wrong, that I can be loved…that I am loveable. So why is our relationship so hard? When we’re together on the dance floor or between the sheets, I pray for a small twinge of lust or something. I remember when his lazy smile sent my toes curling and my lower regions throbbing. But lately, thoughts of Noah come even though I don’t want them to: his valiant efforts to rescue me, his tender, caring side, even though I was being an idiot that night. I just don’t know if I’m ready to shake off one bad relationship to trust in another one.

Wanting to trust…

Her words echo in my head. Let’s be secret friends. Shh, don’t tell anyone. That girl ruined my life. Because of her and what happened I haven’t touched a girl since high school. I haven’t let myself fantasize about a girlfriend. About finding love. Or sex. Shit. Has it been that long since I’ve been laid? Then there’s Carly. The tantalizing goddess I rescued. For the first time I’m feeling things I swore I never would again. Somehow, she’s found her way into my heart, but I just don’t know if it’s too late for love and for the two of us.