God's Personality

God: Is the microphone onTesting, testing
one, two, and threeAlright! So how about those gas
prices huh!...Five dollars a gallon! Isnt that ridiculous?!
Maybe if it was Five dollars a keg; people would be a
little less angry. And you can only imagine how much
it cost me every day; to travel from Heaven to earth,
and the mileage on my new van is outrageous; so Ive
decided to walk today. Well actually I only walked
half-waysome friendly aliens saw me walking on
the side of the Milky Way; so they offered me a ride.
Speaking of aliens! Do you know why people hardly
ever see them anymore?! Its not because theyre afraid
of us; theyre afraid of our new gas prices. I mean yeah
they may have enough gas to get here, but they may
not be able to get back. I mean after all; they only get
twenty-six light-years on the gallon. So now theyre
trying more of an eco-friendly approach. The good
news about that is you wont have to worry about them
trying to invade the planet earth anymore. Why?! Because
theyre eco-friendly now, and lately I find myself
trying to conceal my identity from the world more
and more now; because oil owners would stop and
ask me, How come you just wont make more oil?
Then I would politely respond, How come you guys
just wont share the oil Ive already given you? I mean
whats up with that?!