On This Day in History Sh!t Went Down: Number 2

SH!T HAPPENS. AGAIN.

The SECOND VOLUME of the hilarious, irreverent guide to world history you never knew you needed, featuring 366 MORE profanity-filled tales of triumph and terror, science and stupidity, courage and cowardice.

Those who cannot remember the past . . . need a history teacher who says "f*ck" a lot.

That famous photo of the Loch Ness Monster was faked as an act of revenge against The Daily Mail. Before "Scotty" saved the starship Enterprise a bunch of times, future actor James Doohan stormed the beaches at Normandy to help save the world from Nazis and he got shot to sh!t. Originally known as "Napalm Girl," Thị Kim Phúc survived, escaped to Canada, and now helps child victims of war. The first pride parade was inspired by the New York Stonewall Riots, when the LGBTQ+ community fought back against police oppression. When Trump lost the 2020 election, his lapdog lawyer Rudy Giuliani held a press conference at Four Seasons Landscaping, located between a crematorium and a porn store. In seventeenth century Italy, when divorce was not at all a thing, hundreds of women married to abusive husbands employed Giulia Tofana to poison them. Iñupiat woman Ada Blackjack, and her cat, survived in the remote Arctic for two years when all the men on the expedition died …

If reading history doesn't make you want to swear like a mom with a red-wine hangover walking barefoot through a LEGO-filled living room, then you're not reading the right history. Across the ages, over 100 billion humans have lived and died. Some were motivated by greed, others by generosity. Many dedicated themselves to the art of killing, while others were focused on curing. There have been grave mistakes, and moments of greatness. And that is why . . . sh!t happens. Every day.