PS, I Love You

Cecelia Ahern’s Inside Story: “I had just turned 21. I had just graduated college. I was living at home with my mother and was trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. I was going to do a Masters in film production and then I got this idea for the book. It just kept running round and round in my head. I knew I had to write it down. So at about 10pm, I sat down and wrote down the time and date, so I knew I was doing something important to me. I began writing what I called ‘The List’ and I couldn’t stop. I think I wrote until about 4am and then I slept until two in the afternoon.

“I got up and I typed what I had written, transcribed it, and started all over again the next day and kept on writing and writing every night. I had no intention of publishing the book, by the way. This was just something that was flowing out of me at a time when I obviously needed to just get this out.

“My mother started reading it and encouraged me to show somebody. I’m told that was a brave thing to do, but I was 21: I was willing to try anything. I sent it to an agent and very quickly, a few short months later, I had this first deal. And so began three months of hibernation, writing the story. I was crying, I was laughing, I was living by night and sleeping by day. It entirely took over my life.

“Sundays have always been my favourite days for writing—they certainly were then. I feel like time slows down and as though no-one else is really alive or existing so it’s a nice time to have peace of mind, quiet and focus. At that time, I felt like I was the only person in the world writing this story.

“I certainly am not like Holly and clearly hadn’t lost a husband, but I think I was able to identify with her journey and put what I was feeling into her story. It was about identity. Who am I? Where am I going? So by the end of the story, Holly had found her way and I had this book deal. My life was certainly changed.

“I had to obviously revisit the book right before writing Postscript and really remind myself of what the story was and who the characters were. A lot of the reading was done behind my fingers, hiding. If I was to write it again, I wouldn’t write it in the same way, but I also wouldn’t write it as well, because that’s where I was emotionally at the time. Everyone used to ask me how I wrote something like that so young. And I would think the same! How did I write this at 21? Going back to the book was like reading an old diary. A mixture of pride and cringe.”