Suzanne Schlosberg's friends dubbed her the Cal Ripken of celibacy. Given the common belief among single women that all the good men are either married or gay, Suzanne's predicament is hardly extraordinary, but what she does to end the streak makes for a hilarious tale. Suzanne hits bottom when her younger sister gets engaged, leaving her less than a year to find a date for the wedding. She shifts into overdrive, experimenting with Internet dating, speed dating, and other bizarre 21st century match-making rituals. But after enduring every indignity of singlehood, she ultimately learns to ask herself: Does she really need a man to find happiness?
Schlosberg (Fitness for Dummies; Weight Training for Dummies; etc.) tackles husband-hunting in this often side-splitting, occasionally poignant memoir. Humiliated by being seated at the dreaded "Singles Table" at weddings and pressured by crossing the "Great Divide" from "single" to "still single," Schlosberg embarks on a quest, not necessarily for "Mr. Right," but at least "Mr. Remote Possibility." She tries a jaunt to a Kenyan game park, a week at Club Med and a millennial New Year's Eve celebration in Jackpot, Nev. When her travels fail to do little more than help her avoid family gatherings fraught with awkward questions about wedding dates, she moves on to experimenting with feng shui and volunteering for Habitat for Humanity, chimpanzee research and wheelchair athletes. She even submits her photo to hotornot.com, but draws the line at psychotherapy. Succumbing to the inevitable online dating experience, Schlosberg develops an efficient but ineffectual system of screening candidates, which she then tries out at the eight-minute Starbucks Speed Date. To celebrate her 1,001 days without sex, she sets off for the Arctic Ride of Pain, a mountain-bike trip to Deadhorse, Alaska, unexpectedly finding herself stranded in the dying town of Provideniya, Russia, where, finally giving up hope, her spirits improve. It's only then, of course, that Schlosberg finally meets her future husband, bringing her story to a sentimental but satisfying conclusion. Singles in their 30s will get the most out of this book, but anyone can appreciate Schlosberg's wacky humor.