Vampire Apocalypse: Know Your Enemy. A Survival Guide‪.‬

There are plenty of ways an apocalypse could hit. Most folks these days are worried about zombies. Thank you The Walking Dead. Honestly people, if you avoid a herd, have you considered how absolutely rotten stupid a zombie really is?

Folks are worried about asteroids striking the earth. Climate change. Bird flu. System collapse. Genetically modified organisms. You name it, there’s an apocalyptic terror of choice. Heck, you could go with the original and be worried about Judgment Day and the fact that all the explaining in the world isn’t gonna get you out of trouble with the Big Guy.

But the one that people just insist on thinking is totally fiction in spite of all the evidence to the contrary is the fact that old and powerful immortal — or near immortal — beings walk among us. They’re called vampires. They exist in the shadows. They lead elite lives — and they have a political agenda.
The reason vampires are seen as hip, fictional creatures is because that’s exactly how they want us to see them. This class of “monster” has done a brilliant job of manipulating pop culture perception of their kind, taking themselves in less than 100 years from feared creatures of the night to their current status as a sensitive, misunderstood, subjugated minority in need of civil rights protection.

Supernatural, paranormal, and survival expert Rex Cutty has plenty to say on that topic and none of it will win him the Vampire Protection League’s Sympathetic Human of the Year Award. Written in his trademark, punchy, sarcastic style, Cutty’s text makes one thing clear. Dead is dead. There is no misunderstanding on the subject. And dead at the fangs of a vampire is one place you don’t want to be.

Ignore his advice at your own peril.