Why Men Won't Commit
How To Get What You (both) Want Without Playing Games
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5.0 • 1 Rating
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- £7.99
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- £7.99
Publisher Description
Why are men afraid to commit? Dr Weinberg answers this question in WHY MEN WON'T COMMIT and shows women how to help their men change their minds.
Dr Weinberg considers that men have four basic needs (the need to be special, to travel light, for loyalty and for emotional closeness) and if they feel that these aren't being met they will develop bad gut reactions against their girlfriends, which will most likely mystify these women. The problem for women and men is that men themselves couldn't tell you about these needs because they've grown up establishing a 'masculine pretence' that forbids them from showing emotion or discussing problems. Dr Weinberg's WHY MEN WON'T COMMIT provides a bridge between the two sexes that will lead to greater understanding, greater commitment and greater happiness. This is a unique approach to an age-old problem because it shows women why they needn't play games, or lose their own dignity, to help men commit.
An informed, practical, straight-talking guide to men, or as Dr Weinberg calls them 'the fragile sex', WHY MEN WON'T COMMIT is invaluable to every woman who feels her single life must end - and soon!
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
"Men actually want commitment, love, and permanence every bit as much as women do," assures the author of this no-nonsense guide for frustrated women, but they often act as if they don't because of"feelings of threat to their masculinity." Clinical psychologist Weinberg (Self Creation) explains that men, forced by a macho culture to hide their feelings until they lose touch with them, often cannot recognize or articulate them, and that it may be the woman's job to identify inchoate feelings dangerous to the relationship (his"gut reactions") and alter her behavior. He discusses what women might unconsciously do to trigger those feelings, including over-estimate their man's strength and fortitude, or compare him to other men. Men, Weinberg maintains, have four basic needs: to feel special, to"travel light," to know their partners are loyal and to"be close emotionally." Explaining how that last need is true in the face of so much evidence to the contrary is one of the main tasks of the book, one that Weinberg carries out carefully and without condescension. But the implications of this theory of"gut reactions" that must be managed has consequences: because men are actually the"weaker sex," the job of seeing through a man's"Masculine Pretense" and acting accordingly--at least with men who are not in therapy with Weinberg--falls to women, who must be willing to accept that role. Weinberg necessarily paints men in broad strokes--surely not every man equates earning power with virility--but for women who can see the individual beneath the stereotype and who don't mind being the minder of the relationship, this book offers concrete advice.
