Why Mummy Swears Why Mummy Swears

Why Mummy Swears

    • 4.4 • 136 Ratings
    • £2.99
    • £2.99

Publisher Description

The hilarious second novel, and Sunday Times No 1 Bestseller, from author of the smash hit Why Mummy Drinks.

Monday, 25 July
The first day of the holidays. I suppose it could’ve been worse. I brightly announced that perhaps it might be a lovely idea to go to a stately home and learn about some history. As soon as we got there I remembered why I don’t use the flipping National Trust membership – because National Trust properties are full of very precious and breakable items, and very precious and breakable items don’t really mix with children, especially not small boys.
Where I had envisaged childish faces glowing with wonder as they took in the treasures of our nation’s illustrious past, we instead had me shouting ‘Don’t touch, DON’T TOUCH, FFS DON’T TOUCH!” while stoutly shod pensioners tutted disapprovingly and drafted angry letters to the Daily Mail in their heads.
How many more days of the holiday are there?

Welcome to Mummy’s world…
The Boy Child Peter is connected to his iPad by an umbilical cord, The Girl Child Jane is desperate to make her fortune as an Instagram lifestyle influencer, while Daddy is constantly off on exotic business trips…
Mummy’s marriage is feeling the strain, her kids are running wild and the house is steadily developing a forest of mould. Only Judgy, the Proud and Noble Terrier, remains loyal as always.
Mummy has also found herself a new challenge, working for a hot new tech start-up. But not only is she worrying if, at forty-two, she could actually get up off a bean bag with dignity, she’s also somehow (accidentally) rebranded herself as a single party girl who works hard, plays hard and doesn’t have to run out when the nanny calls in sick.
Can Mummy keep up the facade while keeping her family afloat? Can she really get away with wearing ‘comfy trousers’ to work? And, more importantly, can she find the time to pour herself a large G+T?
Probably effing not.


“God, she’s funny” – Jilly Cooper

“Full of laugh-out-loud moments, it’s a must-read” Hello Magazine

“Honest and very funny – it’s a tale that mums will identify with” – The Sun

“Reading Why Mummy Swears will be to some mummies just like having that 5pm snifter – it makes you feel that little bit better.” Private Eye

“Sim’s latest offering is a hilarious follow-up to her bestselling debut… you’d be forgiven for thinking the blogger behind Peter and Jane couldn’t pull it off twice – but she has” – The Sunday Post

About the author

Gill Sims is the author of the hugely successful parenting blog and Facebook site ‘Peter and Jane’. Her first book Why Mummy Drinks was the bestselling hardback fiction debut of 2017, spending over six months in the top ten of the Sunday Times Bestseller Charts, and was shortlisted for Debut Novel of the Year in the British Book Awards. Her globally bestselling Why Mummy series has now sold over a quarter of a million copies.
She lives in Scotland with her husband, two children and two Border terriers, because apparently one terrier didn’t cause her enough trouble.
Gill’s interests include drinking wine, wasting time on social media, trying and failing to capture her lost youth, and looking for one of the dogs when he decides to go on one of his regular jaunts, while trying to stop the other one eating unspeakable things.

Fiction & Literature
12 July

Customer Reviews

Tinkgem ,

A Definite Must Read to All Mums!

Brilliantly funny, hilarious and wet your knickers moments from laughing so much whilst reading this! These books capture being a working parent so amazingly. Definitely worth a read and then tell everyone how much you loved it! I did!

RAZ 2255 ,

A must read for every Mum

A really catchy read, excuse yourself for a long as humanly possibly from the outside world to enjoy this book. Hilariously funny to the point you may snort with laughter in public or sob a little. Once again the trials of a now full time working mother summed up perfectly with a dash of humour on the side.

Notbrokedontchange ,


I loved Gill’s first book. Had a story and was very funny - laugh out loud funny.
However this book is just one long moan about the kids and husband with the occasional rant thrown in.
I’m a third of the way through and haven’t laughed once, in fact it’s all rather depressing.
If you read Gill’s Facebook page you may have come across many of the ideas on there.
I probably won’t bother to finish it sorry

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More Books by Gill Sims

Why Mummy Drinks Why Mummy Drinks
Why Mummy Doesn’t Give a ****! Why Mummy Doesn’t Give a ****!
Why Mummy’s Sloshed Why Mummy’s Sloshed
The Saturday Night Sauvignon Sisterhood The Saturday Night Sauvignon Sisterhood
Why Mummy Drinks at Christmas Why Mummy Drinks at Christmas
Why Mummy Drinks on Holiday Why Mummy Drinks on Holiday

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