Brothers, Sisters, Strangers
Sibling Estrangement and the Road to Reconciliation
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- 10,99 €
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- 10,99 €
Publisher Description
A warm, empathetic guide to understanding, coping with, and healing from the unique pain of sibling estrangement
"Whenever I tell people that I am working on a book about sibling estrangement, they sit up a little straighter and lean in, as if I've tapped into a dark secret."
Fern Schumer Chapman understands the pain of sibling estrangement firsthand. For the better part of forty years, she had nearly no relationship with her only brother, despite many attempts at reconnection. Her grief and shame were devastating and isolating. But when she tried to turn to others for help, she found that a profound stigma still surrounded estrangement, and that very little statistical and psychological research existed to help her better understand the rift that had broken up her family. So she decided to conduct her own research, interviewing psychologists and estranged siblings as well as recording the extraordinary story of her own rift with her brother--and subsequent reconciliation.
Brothers, Sisters, Strangers is the result--a thoughtfully researched memoir that illuminates both the author's own story and the greater phenomenon of estrangement. Chapman helps readers work through the challenges of rebuilding a sibling relationship that seems damaged beyond repair, as well as understand when estrangement is the best option. It is at once a detailed framework for understanding sibling estrangement, a beacon of solidarity and comfort for the estranged, and a moving memoir about family trauma, addiction, grief, and recovery.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Journalist Chapman (Motherland) shares a deeply moving account of a decades-long rift with her only brother and how they found a path to resolution. While parental estrangement is more openly talked about, she writes, "I realized early on the disturbing nature of how others perceive a sibling rupture." The split with her brother, Scott, happened gradually, starting in her 20s. "Hurt piled on hurt, slowly building a hard shell of separation" that kept them from speaking for 40 years, until a call from their mother brought them back together. In reconnecting, she and Scott reckoned with the shared childhood trauma caused by their distant parents. Shocked at how little literature there was on the subject of sibling reconciliation, Chapman decided to compile her own research. To that end, she weaves in interviews with psychologists and firsthand accounts from other estranged siblings, and the story becomes a hybrid of memoir and an illuminating guide to navigating estrangement. Chapman helps readers decide whether a relationship is worth saving, and how to open up communication and reestablish trust; she also tackles issues surrounding addiction, social media, and holidays. The author's vulnerability turns what could have been a clinical look at family dysfunction into a sensitive, compassionate narrative. Even cynics will find hope in this story of redemption.
