Fear 2 Faith

I never expected to enter the frightening
world of cancer. Lannie had always been wholly
healthy. He rarely even had a cold. He was a
lifelong nonsmoker with no known cancer risks.
Our two children were
launched and doing
well. Lannie had retired;
I continued to work
full-time teaching nursing. God blessed us
with wonderful grandchildren. Life was calm,
peaceful, and fulfilling. So
nothing, absolutely
nothing, prepared me for
the shock of being
suddenly catapulted into
the horrific world of
helping my husband battle
the very deadly cancer
called mesothelioma (meso). Our peaceful lives
of Saturday afternoon college football games,
babysitting our grandchildren, and doing
whatever abruptly ended with these words: Im
afraid your husband has lung cancer.


As I struggled to cope, I found myself
teetering between faith and fear. I wanted my
faith to be strong enough
to drive away any
fear. Surely, if I were a strong enough woman of
faith, I wouldnt be afraid, would I? Prayer
became my lifeline as I opened my heart and soul
to Him.


I invite you to follow me through this
journey. I am a registered nurse, so you may
think that my nursing knowledge must have
enhanced my coping ability and lessened my
fearit didnt. I felt frightened, overwhelmed,
and lost. However, I recognize that my nursing
knowledge helped me navigate the complex
pathways of the confusing medical world
and provided a certain quality of care for my
husband that someone who is not a nurse would
probably struggle with. I am thankful for my
nursing knowledge.


Come with me as I share my journey of
coping with my husbands cancer as well as my
personal journey of growing faith through fear.
My prayer is that my words will comfort and
inspire hope for anyone who is facing a serious,
life-threatening illness. Our journey involves
battling mesothelioma; yours may be a diff erent
disease. Th e disease doesnt matter; the battle is
the same. I pray that someway, somehow, you win
your battle.