When We Fell Away

As far back as I can remember, I have been pretending to think and feel what everyone around me insisted was right. Playing a part became so ingrained that, even now, years and evolutions later, I’m still not sure what’s at the center of me.
I was the eldest son in a strict Mormon family, born into a life that fit everyone but me. I tried. God, I tried. I gave it everything I had.
I spent years building a heaven for everyone but myself.
I preached salvation while quietly drowning.
In 1991, I was sent to Lyon, France by the church, determined to become the man I’d always pretended to be.
Then I met Elder Nathan Van Zandt.
His reputation preceded him. He was our district leader. The missionary everyone talked about. The football star who had put his future on hold to serve God. Brilliant. Devoted. Broad-shouldered and impossibly tall, with olive skin, fathomless dark eyes, and a smile that could make you believe in miracles.
He was the man on the tip of everyone’s tongue. They forgot to mention how beautiful he was.
Or how every room seemed to bend toward him the moment he walked inside.
Or how impossible he was to resist.
Sometimes your breaking point isn’t the moment you go under.
Sometimes it’s the moment you finally come up for air.
Temptation doesn’t always lead you astray from who you are.
Sometimes it leads you straight to it.
When We Fell Away is a poignant, forbidden M/M second-chance romance set in the early ‘90s, spanning years of reverent yearning, impossible devotion, aching restraint, and the devastating cost of choosing between faith and the only person who’s ever felt like home.