Fatherless Daughters
Turning the Pain of Loss into the Power of Forgiveness
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- USD 15.99
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- USD 15.99
Descripción editorial
A moving, elegantly written, and exhaustively researched account of what it means for a girl to lose a father to death or divorce—with advice for fatherless daughters on how to cope.
“People who lose their parents early in life are like fellow war veterans. As soon as they discover that they are talking to someone else who has lost a parent, they know they are speaking the same language without uttering a word.”
Pamela Thomas gives voice to this unspoken pain in Fatherless Daughters. Still haunted by her own father’s death when she was ten, Thomas decided to explore its effects. Though her journey began as a personal one, she soon felt the need to hear from other women and ended up interviewing more than one hundred fatherless women. They ranged in age from nineteen to ninety-four; they came from all areas of the country as well as Europe and Asia; some had lost their fathers to death, others to divorce or abandonment. Each account was unique, but the impact of a father’s loss was profound in every woman’s life.
Thomas begins by defining what it means to be a father in our world. She discusses the initial shock of his loss, exploring the aspects that color how a young girl experiences it: her age at the time of her father’s death or abandonment, her mother’s behavior and attitudes, her place in the family vis-à-vis siblings, and the influence of a stepfather or father-surrogates.
Thomas shows how a father’s early death or abandonment affects a woman’s emotional health and self-esteem, her body image, her sexual experiences, her marriage, her family life, and her career. Perhaps most important, Thomas offers compassionate advice for coming to terms with father loss, even late in life, from actively mourning, to healing, to starting fresh.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Book editor Thomas was ten years old when her father died, and she's struggled to make sense of that loss for more than 50 years. Weaving theory and testimony into a diagnostic text with a general prescription for healing, Thomas examines women coping with the loss of a father, through death or divorce. In four sections-"Fathering," "Shock," "Aftershock," and "Coming to Terms"-Thomas confronts the idealization of the father, resentment toward his loss, the reaction of family members and potential impact on future relationships, among other angles. Aside from her own story and the work of psychologists, analysts and social scientists, Thomas's primary research material comes from interviews she conducted with more than100 grown women. Unfortunately, the similarities among Thomas's subjects (affluent and middle-class women of a similar age) and the insularity of her sources limit readers' exposure to the true spectrum of loss. Relying on familiar narratives of pain and recovery, Thomas may offer some comfort and counsel, but fails to capture the issue's full dimensions.