Table for One, Buffet for Six‪:‬

Set sail alone — because nothing says “relaxing holiday” quite like joining a floating village with dress codes, deck plans, buffet politics and a cabin card that now controls your entire identity.

Table for One, Buffet for Six: The Lone Cruiser’s Survival Guide is a funny, practical audiobook for solo travellers thinking about taking their first cruise without being adopted by strangers, mugged by the solo supplement, or trapped beside someone at dinner who treats their decking renovation as a six-part documentary.

With sharp humour and cheerful suspicion, Steve Barker guides you through the glorious absurdity of cruising alone: choosing between ocean ships and river boats, spotting real deals, surviving single supplements, decoding deck plans, avoiding cabins above the disco, packing without relocating your entire house, facing embarkation without administrative collapse, dining alone without looking abandoned, making friends without accidentally joining a family, and escaping organised fun before someone hands you a quiz sheet.

This is not a glossy cruise brochure full of laughing couples and suspiciously calm people in linen. It is a witty survival guide for real travellers who want confidence, independence, cake access and a quiet corner when the ship’s social programme becomes a little too enthusiastic.

Perfect for first-time cruisers, nervous solo travellers, river cruise beginners, ocean cruise newcomers, midlife adventurers and anyone who has ever wondered whether “smart casual” is a dress code, a threat, or a trap set by people with better shoes.

Cruise solo. Laugh often. Panic responsibly — preferably after locating the buffet.