Committed

PUBLISHERS WEEKLY 31 JAN 2005

For women frustrated by their husbands or boyfriends, or by the plethora of guides that claim to decipher the male psyche, this anthology offers a fresh perspective: well-known contemporary male writers reflect on the commencement, evolution and/or nature of their own or, in some cases, their parents' committed relationships. A number of these men took a circuitous route to marriage, settling down with one partner late in life because they feared monogamy or, in the case of Rick Moody, because "a golden retriever knows more than I knew about love, fidelity, and commitment." Invariably, however, the contributors found that the thing they spent so much time dodging was actually gratifying. Some of the more touching selections are humorous and often self-deprecating (like David Sedaris's confession that "what really brought Hugh and me together was our mutual fear of abandonment and group sex"), but they reveal a humble and limitless gratitude that the contributors' respective partners are in their lives. Of course, the topic of infidelity is addressed by several writers, including Nicholas Weinstock, who describes how the tactics he once used to attract women he now uses to avoid cheating. Though these essays are less romantic than, say, John Seabrook's account of his parents' first meeting onboard a transatlantic liner bound for Grace Kelly's wedding, they demonstrate that happily married men will have little difficulty dismissing the occasional temptation to stray. Some of the essays-whether creative stories, candid glimpses into these men's personal lives or merely ruminations on human relationships-expose the complicated, intriguing and sometimes harsh attitudes men have toward commitment, but their honesty is remarkable and illuminating.