'Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' - Sunday Times
'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro
**A Sunday Times Sports Book of the Year**
**Shortlisted for the National Book Awards**
**Longlisted for the Telegraph Sports Book Awards Autobiography of the Year**
You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.
So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.
We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions.
I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?
APPLE BOOKS REVIEW
Asked what he would have been had he not become a professional footballer, Peter Crouch once answered with the iconic: “A virgin.” That he’s now responsible for one of sport’s great self-deprecating autobiographies, therefore, comes as little surprise. The former England international tackles his memoir in typically unconventional style, addressing a different element of football life in each chapter. This makes for a brilliantly paced read; Crouch jumps fluently between the various stops of his eventful career and spills beans in a way that feels affectionate to former teammates and bosses rather than indiscreet.
Worth a read
Lighted hearted,funny and sincere. If you like football,then this is an easy-to-read description its inner workings.